Including Children in Your Wedding Party

Children can be a wonderful addition to your wedding party. They are always cute and adorable, but even more so all dressed up in their wedding finery. With their innocent charm they can steal the limelight and make your guests “ooh” and “ahh”.

There are several steps that you can take to ensure that your young people will be successful in their roles as part of your wedding party. The preparation and careful decisions you make ahead of time will make things flow much smoother on your actual wedding day.

1. Perhaps most importantly, you must choose children who are able to handle the responsiblity, and let's be totally honest here, and sometimes "boring" aspects of the day. Is the child old enough to walk down the aisle unattended (or at least with the support of an older sibling leading the way)? Will they be able to get through the ceremony and photographs immediately afterwards before requiring a nap? Even children as young as four and five years of age can have problems going down the aisle amidst a bunch of strangers. Consider carefully whether the children are able to handle their assigned tasks when deciding on whether to include them or not.

2. It is critical that children are familiar with their roles on the big day! There are some great books for young children to help prepare them for their job duties. Linda Trace Brandon has written a wonderful story entitled, The Little Flower Girl. Linda Godwin has written a similar book for boys called The Ring Bearer. Both books are available through http://www.amazon.com/.

3. Another effective strategy is to buddy up the child with another wedding party attendant. That long walk down the aisle can be a lot easier if they see a familiar face at the end with a warm smile that they recognize. It gives them a target to aim for and someone they can stand with throughout the ceremony. (Although once the bride has made it down the aisle and the officiant has welcomed everyone, there is nothing wrong with sending the younger children to sit with Mom or Dad in the first row of chairs/pews.)

4. I can't stress the importance of having a rehearsal prior to the wedding and making sure that the children are included in the rehearsal. This should involve a complete run-through of walking down the aisle, and where to stand. If possible, even run that aspect of the ceremony a couple of times to make sure that everyone (and not just the kids) are familiar with the routine. Also, be sure to include, how to stand, where to put your hands, and how to smile, etc. It sounds silly, but you'll be glad you did when you see the wedding photographs afterwards.

5. For the ring bearer, get some dummy rings and put them on the pillow that he will carry, allowing your best man or officiant to hold on to the real ones. Is it really fair to ask a small child to carry a pillow with such expensive jewellry on it? If you are adamantly opposed to using fake rings, then at least make sure that the ribbons are tied with a double knot (that someone will have to untie at the front in an unobtruive manner) to prevent them from getting lost.

6. Make arrangements with your photographer for any of the photos including the children to get done first and out of the way so that mom and/or dad can sneak them away for some down time, or possibly even an afternoon nap, to rejuvenate them before the evening activities.

7. Plan entertainment for all of the children at your wedding. Try and come up with some way to keep the young people amused, especially once the speeches start. Some ideas include putting activity bags at their place setting with coloring books and crayons, hiring a clown or face painter, providing an alternate room with a DVD player and TV (with adult supervision), or hiring babysitters who can play organized games or supervise kids.

Just like the adult members of your wedding party, the little guys need to understand their jobs and the responsibilities that go with it.Flower girls and ring bearers can add so much to your wedding day. Just like the adult members of your wedding party, the little guys need to understand their jobs and the responsibilities that go with it. With proper planning and preparation, adding the special children in your lives to your wedding party can be an easy and rewarding experience.

Cathy MacRae is a certified wedding and event planner, and owner of Creative Weddings and Occasions and Del Sol Destination Weddings. Located in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, she plans wedding for couples in and around the Calgary and Banff area. She is also a destination wedding and honeymoon travel specialist helping couples plan their weddings in paradise all around the world. For more information about planning your own wedding or for advice from Cathy, please contact her at Creative Weddings and Occasions.
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