Receiving Lines – A Thing Of The Past?

Receiving lines are as much a tradition as the wedding ceremony itself. It was an opportunity for the newlyweds, their parents, and key members of the wedding party to personally welcome their guests and thank them for being part of their special day. It could happen after the ceremony at the church or at the reception that evening (usually during cocktails prior to the main meal).

Most of us have either had the experience of standing in line for what seems like forever, waiting for those in front of us to stop talking and move along, or worse yet, actually been in the receiving line as part of the wedding party, shaking numerous hands of people we really don’t know and making small talk as they move along, really just wanting to pass along their good wishes to the bride and groom. Neither could be considered a pleasant experience, but we do it because it follows the rules of etiquette.
More recently, in light of H1N1 and other illnesses, people are questioning the wisdom of having a receiving line. Just think of how many hands you’re shaking, and therefore, how many germs are being spread. Ewww!

Don’t get me wrong! It is still important for the couple to speak with and thank each and every one of their guests for coming, but a more popular option nowadays is for the bride and groom to move from table to table throughout the evening, greeting each guest individually. Sometimes you may even arrange for the photographer to follow you and get a photo of the couple at each table with the guests there just to ensure that you have a picture of everyone. It’s a little more time consuming this way, but I think the conversations are more genuine. An ideal time for this usually is as the couple finishes their meal and before the cake is cut.

If you’re having an ultra formal wedding, you may not be able to escape the receiving line experience, but there are a couple of things you can do to speed it up. As a rule of thumb, if the guest list is over 125 people, then just include the bride and groom, their mothers, and the maid of honor. If the guest list is under 125, you can include more members of the wedding party. It is up to you whether or not the fathers of the bride and groom and the best man join the receiving line, but remember that the less people the guests have to greet, the quicker the line will move.

And make sure you use lots of hand sanitizer….

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Cathy MacRae is a certified wedding and event planner, and owner of Creative Weddings and Occasions and Del Sol Destination Weddings. Located in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, she plans wedding for couples in and around the Calgary and Banff area. She is also a destination wedding and honeymoon travel specialist helping couples plan their weddings in paradise all around the world. For more information about planning your own wedding or for advice from Cathy, please contact her at info@creativeweddingsandoccasions.com.

You are welcome to publish this article in other blogs or e-zines, but please ensure the signature file above is printed along with the article.

Wedding Etiquette 101: Thank You Cards

For many brides, the etiquette surrounding your wedding can be daunting at times. There seems to be rules for everything, including which fork to use, and how to properly word invites. There are seating charts and table arrangements. The list of what-to-do, and more importantly, what-NOT-to-do seems endless. On that same token, however, you don’t want to risk offending anyone – especially any of your future in-laws!

Although there are a lot of things to think about in terms of wedding etiquette, the best idea is to take things one step at a time. Today’s hot topic will be how to deal with the thank you cards.

The first rule of thumb to be aware of is that a note of thanks should be sent for ALL engagement, shower, and wedding gifts. Don’t forget, however, about the other “gifts”. These could be people who have hosted a shower or baked goodies for your engagement party. Your attendants also deserve a special note conveying your appreciation for all of the extra effort they have contributed in the months leading up to your wedding, and, of course, on your big day. A heartfelt message letting someone know how much their efforts have been appreciated can mean the world to its recipient!

Secondly, each thank you note should be handwritten and should mention specifically the gift item received. If possible, make a positive compliment about the gift, such as, “Eric and I look forward to using the serving platter you gave during the upcoming holiday season.” The message does not need to be an epic novel. Three to five sentences will suffice, with the final sentence thanking them one last time. The important thing to remember is to keep it personal and sincere.

At this point, the question is always raised, what if you can’t stand the item and plan to return it the first chance you have? My response is what some people don’t know won’t hurt them. Thank the sender in the note for the gift and let them know how much you appreciate their thoughtfulness. The recipient does not need to know how you really feel or that you plan on taking the gift back. (I’m not sure if you know this or not, but are you aware that your wedding guests are not obligated to give you a gift? It’s entirely up to their discretion.)

To help make your job easier, make sure that during any gift opening you have someone, such as one of your attendants or perhaps a close relative, keep a detailed list of what each gift was and who it was from. This will make your live much easier later when you go back to write out each thank you card.

Thank you cards should be written within three months of receiving the gift (contrary to popular belief that you have a year). Ideally, the thank you note should be written the day that you receive the gift, but this often is not the least bit realistic for those of you with a busy career. Try and set a daily or weekly goal for yourself so the task of writing the thank you cards doesn’t become too onerous. Remember, as well, that you can share the wealth and get your groom to write some of the thank you cards, too! After all, his name was on the card as well.

Sending a note for a gift is a must! Don’t let anyone tell you that an e-mail or generic letters will suffice. Even if you miss the three-month deadline, send a note afterwards with an added apology for the delay in getting it mailed out. As they say, better late than never. If you have any doubts as to whether your efforts will be appreciated, think of how nice it is to receive something in the mail besides bills or advertisements. Your thank you card will not only let a family member or friend know that you appreciated their effort, but will most likely also bring a smile to the recipient’s face!

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Cathy MacRae is a certified wedding and event planner, and owner of Creative Weddings and Occasions and Del Sol Destination Weddings. Located in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, she plans wedding for couples in and around the Calgary and Banff area. She is also a destination wedding and honeymoon travel specialist helping couples plan their weddings in paradise all around the world. For more information about planning your own wedding or for advice from Cathy, please contact her at info@creativeweddingsandoccasions.com.

You are welcome to publish this article in other blogs or e-zines, but please ensure the signature file above is printed along with the article.